How to negotiate without butterflies in the tummy

How to negotiate without butterflies in the tummy

How to negotiate without butterflies in the tummy 
Autumn 2012, Asia Volume 4, Number 6

Bye Bye Butterflies: How to Negotiate
Without Butterflies in the Tummy

It is only human to feel nervous when we enter a negotiation. The potential feeling of rejection and being judged sinks to the bottom of your tummy and lies in wait to engulf you like a hungry tiger. Your dread can be easily boiled down to the fact that you have negative expectations of the outcome of your negotiation. Once you fix this root cause of those incessant butterflies and deal head-on with the things that lead to negativity, feeling anxious will be but a vague memory.

BE

PREPARED

Successful negotiation should end with each party feeling like they have won. You feel nervous because you are afraid you would not. Anticipate what the other party might throw back at you for your idea by preparing a list of targets you hope to achieve during the negotiation and your tactics that would help you get there. Do not forget possible compromises you have to make; make a list of those too. While you’re at it, pen down your strongest agreements for both parties, even if they are the alternatives. Everything is clearer when in black and white.

LIVE FOR

THE MOMENT

We sometimes tend to think of the worst possible outcome of a situation, so that we might not be caught off-guard when the time comes. Take heed that this creates those butterflies and inadvertently steers you in the direction of that catastrophic thought. Action absorbs anxiety, so busy yourself at the moment; visualize and role-play the negotiation. When you have already been there once, doing it the second time would be a lot easier. Pretend that the negotiation is taking place now and take the opportunity to smoothen out those rough edges.

TWO HEADS ARE

BETTER THAN ONE

If you are still anxious about an unpleasant negotiation, rope in someone to help you. Make sure the other party is fine with it first as they might view it as a tactic to intimidate them. Practice with your partner so that you both know on what grounds you are negotiating. Having a partner eases your nervousness and ensures that someone else takes the lead when you feel you are faltering. As they say, there is power in numbers. It also helps knowing there is another person who supports you.

60 Seconds

is All it Takes
to Know a Little More
Quick Tip1

Prepare a list of targets you hope to achieve and your tactics that would help get you there, including possible agreements, compromises and options

Quick Tip2

Visualize and role-play the negotiation to smoothen out those rough edges as doing it the second time would be a lot easier

Quick Tip3

Visualize and role-play the negotiation to smoothen out those rough edges as doing it the second time would be a lot easier

Quick Tip4

Rope in someone to help you and practice together so you both know on what grounds you are negotiating.

Quick Tip5

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